A Transformative Process: Sermon for the Second Sunday of Easter ("Thomas Sunday"), April 23, 2006

Any change, at any time, for any reason, is to be deplored.” A Duke of Cambridge is reputed to have said that sometime in the late 1800s. “Any change, at any time, for any reason, is to be deplored.”

But....

change is inevitable, irresistible, unstoppable, and yet human beings resist change, try to stop change and react very badly to change. That is, I suppose, understandable.

Several years ago, medical doctor Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a little book entitled On Death & Dying in which she outlined a model of five stages in the grieving process, both the pre-death psychology of a person passing away from a terminal illness and in the experience of the survivors. Some of you may have studied these: they are denial, anger, bargaining, despair and, finally, acceptance. As her model was studied by doctors and psychologists, many began to note that these stages were experienced not only in the context of death but in regard to any loss. Then, a further step was taken when we began to notice that dealing with any change followed a similar course and, in turn, we started to recognize that all change entails loss, even change for the better. “The devil you know is always better than the devil you don't know,” and we must go through the human process of losing that known devil, even when we don't like it and don't want it.

The wonderful thing about the story of our Lord’s Crucifixion and Resurrection is that it is a fully human story -- the stages of grief, both in Christ’s preparation for death at the hands of the authorities, and in the Apostles’ handling of Jesus’ execution during and after the events of Holy Week and Good Friday. All of the stages of grief, of handling change are there to be seen.

They are surely there as Jesus prepares to die; they are surely here in the story of Thomas, the doubting Apostle. Denial, anger, despair, bargaining and acceptance are all here.... neither Jesus nor his followers are spared the human experience of change.

Friday evening Evelyn and I attended the annual dinner fundraiser for Hospice of Medina and as part of that event there was an auction. Each couple was given a butterfly with a number on it to make our auction bids. The butterfly is the corporate logo of the hospice agency. It’s a great choice because butterflies are a symbol of change and have been adopted by the church as a symbol of the Resurrection for obvious reasons. Think about it.... a caterpillar lives a certain sort of live, munching away on leaves, and then has to “die” ... it enters what’s called the “pupal stage” when it forms a chrysalis or cocoon and lies there entombed for days, weeks or even months, but eventually that little tomb breaks open and the insect emerges completely changed! It is the same bug – the genes are the same, the species is the same, but the individual is gloriously changed.

Apparently this is what happened in the Resurrection of Jesus. Many times in the stories of his post-Resurrection appearances, including today’s Gospel lesson, he is not recognized until some trigger is struck – he shows the scars of the Crucifixion, he breaks bread, he says a name – in some way, this Resurrected Jesus is different but recognizable.

The Apostles, because of this, become different but recognizable, too.

Kubler-Ross’s five-stage model has been expanded by several different researchers, one of whom is cardiologist Stephen Yarnell. In Yarnell’s book Unpleasant Changes - What to Do he expands the model to ten steps, leaving out “bargaining” and adding some new understandings.

Yarnell’s first stage, like Kubler-Ross’s, is denial – “It can’t be,” “This can’t be happening to me,” “It’s not true”.... The first stage of reaction to any sudden, unexpected event tends to be denial. During and after our Lord’s trial and execution, this was the reaction of the Apostles. “I don’t know him.” “I won’t believe it.”

Yarnell follow’s Kubler-Ross in naming the second stage “anger” or “blaming” – “Whose fault is it?” “This makes me mad,” “This isn’t fair,” “Why me?” The second stage of reaction looks backward in hopes of finding the cause and someone or something to point the finger at, to blame it on. The Apostles certainly went through a stage like this is – Judas, the “Jews” (by which they meant the temple authorities), the governor.....

The third stage in both models is despair. This stage is characterized by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, and the grieving person tends to become withdrawn, to isolate him- or herself from others. The Apostles locked themselves in the upper room; Thomas withdrew even from his brothers and sisters amongst Jesus’s followers – we don’t know where he went off too.

Yarnell now differs from Kubler-Ross in adding a stage called “perspective.” In this stage, the individual begins accepting the change and is no longer caught up in denial, anger, blame, or despair. The loss is seen in its proper perspective. Although the sense of loss may be significant, the individual does not feel that all is lost.

Stage 5 in Yarnell’s model is called “relationships,” and this is where Yarnell’s ten-stage description of handling change, of dealing with grief begins to parallel the experience of the grieving Christian, of the believer who knows that all suffering can be redemptive. Coming out of the withdrawal and isolation that is inherent in the previous stages, the individual is able to talk and relate to other people and participate in normal activities. Thomas comes back to the other Apostles, ready to be with them and to share the experience.

The next stage is called “spiritual changes.” The individual’s relationship with the spiritual side of life is strengthened as a result of having lived through (and survived) the experience. The Apostles have new hope; they have seen Jesus. Thomas, still caught up somewhat in his feelings of denial, doesn’t believe them: he’s no longer despairing; he’s developed some perspective; he’s willing to be back in relationship with them; but he’s not quite willing to believe that something good can have come from this suffering... yet.

Yarnell’s seventh stage in dealing with change is “acceptance,” which is Kubler-Ross’s fifth and final stage. This stage involves the restoration of self-esteem, and the acceptance of the consequences and boundaries of the new reality. The Apostles, having seen Jesus, are approaching this stage; they are beginning to understand the boundaries of their new reality; Thomas, until he sees the Risen Lord, isn’t there yet.... but when he does see Jesus, when he does get there! Boy howdy! Does he get there! “My Lord and my God!” Thomas is the first to voice the new understanding.

Yarnell adds stages beyond mere acceptance; this accords with our Christian understanding of loss and grief, of suffering and its redemptive potential, of change and empowerment. One does not merely accept the loss or change and then continue on as if nothing happened. The world is changed and, therefore, we must be changed.

“Humor” is the eighth level in Yarnell’s model of handling grief. Smiles, laughter, and a sense of humor return to the individual and help in the healing process. There’s a renewed sense of joy in life. You can almost hear the humor in Jesus’s voice as he speaks to Thomas: “Do you believe because you have seen? Blessed are those who believe and have not seen.” (Interestingly, in some modern scholarship, the word translated here as “blessed” is also translated as “happy.” Those who believe reach the eighth stage quickly!)

Near the end of the process, at stage 9, there is “activity and action.” Where once the individual had been restricted or immobilized by the change, he or she now returns to activity, action, and improved productivity. Travel and group activities become more interesting. This is what will happen to the Apostles.... some of them are already traveling; Cleopus and his companion are on the road and will meet the Risen Jesus as the travel to Emmaus. The others will soon burst out of this upper room into the streets and alleys of Jerusalem, speaking all manner of foreign languages, preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ, crucified, died and risen from the dead.

In Yarnell’s model, the final stage of the process is the setting of “new goals.” In this final stage, the individual is able to focus on the positive aspects of whatever change occurred, and on new goals and activities. He or she takes comfort in cartoonist Ashley Brilliant’s line, “I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent!”

This model is fuller and more closely resembles the experience of the Apostles and the experience of other Christians who have dealt with death, loss and change with the help and model of the Risen Lord. We really don’t move, as Kubler-Ross suggested, from “despair” directly to “acceptance” ... and the process doesn’t end with mere “acceptance.” There is a need to gain new perspectives, to enter into new relationships, to experience spiritual growth, to see things through the eyes of humor and joy, and, finally, to return to activities with new goals. The butterfly does these things in it’s metamorphosis ... it doesn’t go back to the life of a caterpillar; the Risen Jesus did these things in his Resurrection ... he didn’t just come back to life and return to his work as an itinerant rabbi; the Apostles went through this transformative process ... they didn’t go back to their prior lives as tax collectors, farmers and fishermen.

This is the Christian reality. The earliest Christians called the religion of Jesus Christ “The Way” because the understood that becoming Christian was not a destination, but a journey. Today, four young lives are to be started here on that Way, on the path of the Christian journey. Throughout their lives, change will be the one constant – they will always be undergoing some part of the transformative process that is the Christian reality.

“Any change, at any time, for any reason, is NOT to be deplored.” Not at all. Every change, at every time, for every reason, is to be celebrated. Every change, at every time, for every reason, holds within it the possibility of new relationships, of spiritual change, of humor, of action and of new goals. We prayed at the beginning of our Mass this morning for this to be so in our lives. In the Collect before the Lessons, we asked God for the Grace that we “may show forth in [our] lives what [we] profess by [our] faith.” In a word, we prayed that every loss, every change might hold what these baptisms hold today for these children, the promise of Resurrection. Because of the Resurrection of our Lord, we have the power to claim a relationship with the living God; this is what John wrote in his First Epistle, part of which we heard this morning: “our [true] fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ” Every change holds in it the possibility ... the potential ... the PROMISE of Resurrection in fellowship with God!

Alleluia! Christ is risen! The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!